Why do you apologize all the time?” My husband asked me this when I apologized the other day.
Hmmm….I wondered and started paying attention.
Yep. He was right. I do over-apologize.
The other day I was at the grocery store. When the cashier began to ring up the bulk items I had selected, she noticed the labels didn’t have bar codes on them. While I took the time to weigh and label each item, the bar code didn’t print and she couldn’t ring them up.
Immediately, I felt like I should apologize. And, I almost did. I had to force myself not to. Isn’t that crazy?
"Saying sorry too much is a common problem (especially among women). However, over apologizing all the time could mean you’re essentially saying sorry for your existence. Over time this not only undermines your self-worth but also your capacity to manifest an abundant life." - Katherine Hurst
As I was in line waiting for another store employee to go look up the codes I found myself needing to resist the need to apologize. I kept thinking, “Don’t apologize, don’t you dare apologize. You don’t need to own this.”
As we were waiting for the young man to return, I looked back at the line that was starting to get longer and longer. Once again, I felt like I needed to apologize. I felt like I was responsible for it taking longer to ring up my purchases.
Many women do this too, I noticed. We often apologize unnecessarily.
Do you apologize too much, too? Do you apologize for things that you shouldn’t or needn’t ?
Don’t misunderstand me, apologizing is a good thing when it’s warranted.
However, I think girls are often raised to be nice, to share, to not make trouble, to be polite and to think of others. While these are good qualities to have, I believe there needs to be a balance and we need a better narrative for girls (ourselves included.)
Next time you find yourself needing to apologize, I encourage you to be curious. Is it really necessary? Or is it a fall back.
Sorry not sorry is sexy.
PS: I’d love to hear from you. Have you noticed the you apologize too much? If so, have you found it uncomfortable to stop or try not to?
PPS: I did it again! Before finishing this post, I apologized to a company for making a mistake on my order. Ugh! I felt bad because they had to redo their work. So I apologized! Instead of saying, “I’m sorry you have to redo your work.”, I should have said. “Thank you for making it right.” See the difference there?
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