Seeing all the hullabaloo surrounding the royal wedding last week made me think about my own wedding (decades ago) and my marriage.
It’s funny how some things you think are important really don’t matter years later. (Like our cake….I don’t remember the filling or what kind of cake it was. I remember the yummy butter cream frosting and I remember that the little anniversary cake was just as tasty after it was frozen for a year.)
Weddings are fun and and beautiful and a wonderful celebration of love.
But here’s the thing…
Relationships take work and sometimes it’s a whole lotta effort. Sometimes there are bumps and sometimes there are valleys but no one talks about the bumps and the valleys.
Everyone talks about the peaks. They focus on the peaks, the romance, the newly wedded bliss, the happily ever after. (If you’ve known me for some time, you know I like to focus on the positive, too.)
A lot of people think, if the relationship is hard, if it requires work than it wasn’t meant to be. However, that’s so far from the truth.
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
–Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven
Every single thing that is worthwhile in life takes effort.
Businesses, careers, sports, hobbies and relationships, even friendships will not survive if they are not nurtured….nothing in life comes without challenges.
My relationship with my husband is better than I ever expected it to be.
Is it perfect? No, nothing is.
It’s perfectly imperfect. And, it’s what we’ve created. And, we are continually learning and creating and growing.
Without the valleys there are no peaks.
Valleys are sexy.
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