Last week, my husband and I celebrated 33 years of marriage! I do not know where the time went. I consider myself lucky. I married a good man. We still like and love each other. And, bonus: he is very handsome.
I get asked a lot how we do it.
We’ve had some rules from the beginning of our relationship that have served us well.
I thought I’d share those with you.
We never call each other derogatory names. It is like crumpling a piece of paper and then trying to smooth the wrinkles out. A person is never quite the same once the person they love demeans them.
We are careful about who we allow into our relationship. We don’t bring others into the midst of our disagreements. We, especially, don’t bring in parents or siblings. Long after we’ve forgotten, the people who love us never will.
We limit exposure to couples who treat each other with disrespect or talk unkindly about each other. Not only is it uncomfortable to be around people who do this but you become the average of the 5 people you hang around with most. I don’t know about you but I don’t want an “average” relationship.
We communicate, communicate, communicate. Over the years, we’ve refined our communication styles. Tough conversations are never easy but they are much better for a healthy relationship than no conversation. We talk about the hard stuff with as much respect and love as we can.
We put each other before anyone else. No one is more important to me than my spouse and I to him. (This includes parents, children, siblings and even pets.) At the end of the day, he’s the person I choose to grow old with and I he.
“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” -Keanu Reeves
Lastly, humor is a must in our home. Having a sense of humor helps us to not take ourselves so serious. And, you know that old saying that laughter is the best medicine.
These rules have worked for us. While our rules may not be a good fit for you, I do think rules/boundaries/guidelines are do serve healthy relationships. It’s never to late to put a stake in the ground and decide what kind of relationship you want to have.
How about you? I want to know. Do you have any relationship rules? What’s worked for you?
Relationship rules are sexy.
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